


Gestation

by V0ID115



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Genre: Apocalypse, Friendship, Hope, Introspection, Post-Apocalypse, hopelessness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V0ID115/pseuds/V0ID115
Summary: The Demi-fiend finds himself wandering after the most recent events in the Vortex World. With the establishment of Yosuga and Musubi on the verge of being created, he finds himself struggling to keep up with the physically and emotionally demanding Vortex World. What is the point of trying to fix something that insists on staying broken?
Kudos: 9





	Gestation

It cycled endlessly.

Its burning glow fading and returning, over and over again.

Right now, it was a searing blaze of light.

Curse you, Kagutsuchi.

I don’t know what you are, but I curse you nonetheless. All I know is that you are the core of this world. The Cathedral harnesses your energy to sacrifice demons for greater power.

The demons revere your light and go mad from it. 

As it seems, however, half-demons are not affected by it.

Or maybe, I should say, “Demi-fiends” are not affected by it.

After all, I’m looking at it exactly where I stand, lying on the ground on the wasteland just outside Shibuya. Body limp, lazily looking up towards the giant orb of questionable light that seemingly governs this unborn world.

Sometimes, I wish I could snuff it out of the sky, taking my hand and raising it towards it and clenching it, hoping that if that happened, this whole mess would end.

The Creation drove them all mad. The world is in ruins from the cataclysm and demons run rampant, but the creation is driving it further into the ground.

Chiaki… Isamu… They not only founded their reasons, but became absorbed by them. It is true that only one reason shall create the world, but the choice to wage war on other reasons is theirs.

Isamu is still waiting… He asked me to clear the demons on the temple so I can summon his god and officially create his reason. He was my friend and now he asks me to create a world where everyone just looks after themselves and nothing else. An individualistic reality that cares not for the collective. I couldn’t agree with his intentions, so I said I’d need to prepare to face those demons. And here I am.

I had my hopes on Yuko carrying a good reason, but as fate would have it, she is only the pawn of something much worse than everything I found so far. Even Oberon warned me about it, but much to my luck, I don’t see anything I can do.

Futomimi and the manikins are now demanding a reason of their own and I can only pray that it either becomes unfulfilled or if it can come to be, it be a caring reason.

Even Hijiri got caught up in the creation race, wanting control over the Vortex world thanks to his vast knowledge on the Amala. That’s not even mentioning Hikawa…

God fucking damn it all to hell, what has this piece of shit world become? Just the battleground to an ideological war where everyone is just out for themselves with their self righteousness stuck up so far up their asses they can’t see they’re furthering the destruction of the only home we have left.

…

… Then again, hasn’t it been this way before the conception?

Damn, that’s just more depressing. They created an apocalypse to change the world, but the world refused to change because they never changed.

I have no one else left.

I never had many people, but now I have no one.

“Hey, You okay?” A voice, unfamiliar in pitch but familiar in tone calls me from not too far away.

Well, I forgot that demons bound to me are also not affected by Kagutsuchi’s mad glow.

“You said you had something to do, so we left you to it, but it’s been almost an hour and you haven’t returned. We got worried you were ambushed by another fiend or something like that.” [Queen Mab](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Queen_Mab) said, floating near enough so I’d be forced to see her, but not so close she’d cover the light above from my face.

I don’t get up, instead I simply change my gaze from Kagutsuchi to the former fairy floating above me.

“It’s been so long any of the fiends even came for me. And besides, you know I don’t care for their candelabra. As long as I can just prevent any of them from getting the complete set, I succeeded.” 

Although only recognizable due to how much time we spent together, her smile is noticeable, although soft and unusually reserved.

“Yeah, you told me before. I still remember our fight with the first fiend.”

I wince in recollection.

“Agile motherfucker…” I spit. “I think that was the first actual challenging fight I had.”

Mab (as I quickly grew fond of calling her) scornfully laughed at me. “As far as I recall, I found you bleeding and mortally wounded from Preta’s claws, boy.”

“Point taken.” I accept without resistance. She had a point.

“What? Giving up already? You’d usually put up a much bigger fight before accepting your well earned loss.” Mab started nudging me (with her feet!) on the ground. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

I finally move my head to face her, even if I still don’t get up. “In chronological order, in order of urgency or in order of most easily solvable?”

Mab stops floating and sits beside me. Her vicious expression from her new body surprisingly softer than anything I recall her doing these last weeks, maybe even months. “What’s bothering you the most.”

I finally sit up, covering my face with my hands and taking a deep sigh, releasing a burst of frustration and distress that was lodged up in my chest for god only knows how long. I then look slightly upwards, observing the rest of the Vortex World.

“Nothing in this world makes me happy. Everywhere I look, demons are trying to kill me for reasons I don’t understand, people are fighting over their Reasons and want to create a new world and all that I am in this mess is either a pawn, a nuisance or inconsequential to everyone else.”

I then turn to look at Mab, who is now accompanied by [Sati](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Sati), who is looking at me worriedly, and [Hanuman](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Hanuman), who is gazing at me intently. I continue anyway. “I feel I don’t belong in this world. In more ways than one.”

I then fully turn to the small ensemble of demons. “I’m neither human nor a demon, stuck in between both races. I cannot create a reason, for I’m no longer man, but I can’t relate to demons, as it becomes abundantly obvious as the light of kagutsuchi doesn’t do anything to me aside from making it harder for me to sleep at night because it’s too damn bright. I grow much stronger than regular demons, possibly due to the magatamas inside me and they still react violently inside me when they grow.” I clench my stomach, recalling the times I got badly poisoned or paralyzed because of their mutations.

“I think, the worst of all, is that I fought for a world I think no one else believes in. Chiaki and Isamu are too caught up on their personal grievances with the world to think their plan straight or to even listen to anyone else. Yuko is listening to a dark sponsor that will ruin her or the world if left unchecked. Hikawa is going to destroy all individuality and will crush anyone who stands in his way.”

I sit, defeated on the ground. “All I wanted was a world where the individual and the collective were both valued equally. A world where the wise taught the weak, where the strong helped the weak become stronger. I just wanted… a chance for us to get along and grow. Is that too much to ask?”

From behind the small ensemble, [Loa](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Loa) appeared unexpectedly. He gazed at me, the snake in his eye still flickering about, but the skull stared intently at me.

“I have many memories, young demi-fiend. They may be hard to sort, as I have many lives embedded in me, thanks to the countless fusions, but I assure you I still remember every single one of them. And I witnessed maybe not the entirety of your journey, but from a much earlier point in time. You spared me, when I was just a [Chatterskull](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Chatterskull), even when I attacked you. And you spared not only me, but anyone you could along the way.” He spoke, even the snake settling comfortably in his skull as he spoke on.

“As you grew stronger, you used that power not to slaughter demons with more ease, but to risk yourself and put yourself in harm's way to preserve demon-kind, even though they tried to slaughter you. I recall as [Eligor](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Eligor) as you’d stretch yourself thin for those who wish not for peace, but violence. Your effort is commendable in saving even demons who do not listen to you.”

Sati then moved forward. “Demi-fiend… I know you’re crestfallen and I can understand. The Vortex World is not an amicable place, but I agree with Loa. The many memories of goddesses that I was when I was around you do not lie. You used our powers not only to heal yourself, but you tried your absolute hardest to make sure other demons would not come to harm. The most memorable one is a memory from when I was part of a [Dis](https://megamitensei.fandom.com/wiki/Dis). I saw you walking around the Assembly of Nihilo, wanting to oppose Hikawa’s world of absolute stillness and I asked you of your struggle.”

I looked at Sati, a bit taken aback she remembered that far back. “You asked me if I thought my fight was in vain. If I believed I could change the world.”

Sati nodded. “Correct. And your answer was so confident I found it fascinating. I wasn’t sure if I thought you could change the world or if it was just your attitude as you struggled against the forces that be, but I found it very captivating to be around you at that time. I saw how hard you tried to protect the world from Hikawa’s vision. How hard you tried to protect it from an irresponsible control of its fate.”

Were… they all looking at me? All this time?

“Have your feelings changed, Demi-fiend? Do you regret what you did?”

My eyes shoot wide open and I slam my feet on the ground. “Not in the slightest! Hikawa is a dangerous man enough with the magatsuhi he has now. God knows what would happen if he had even more! Even if I couldn’t fully stop him, I don’t regret ruining the obelisk or confronting him!”

Mab laughed out loud, while Sati smiled. “I see. That’s good to know.” She concluded, while Hanuman nodded satisfied.

“See, kid? I knew you had it in you!” Mab said, slapping my shoulder rather brusquely. Ouch… Since she evolved, she got stronger than me. I know I’ll outgrow her again because of my magatama and she knows this as well, so I ‘m sure she’ll try to enjoy this as much as she can.

“Listen kid.” She called me, robbing me from my thoughts. “We know you can’t create a reason, we know you’re not human nor demon and we know you don’t have a lot of choices. But we’re really happy with the ones you made. You looked after us. You looked after others. You’re doing your best to look after the world, but I think you need to remember we’re looking after you too.”

She then lowered herself so I could look at her at eye level. “I told you before you were growing to become a superb man and I meant it. I get you’re all down in the dumps, but don’t let those ‘Apocalypse blues’ rob the best you from yourself, okay?”

She then crossed her arms and smiled impishly “Also, you look cute and it’s a terrible waste of good looks on a frowning face. I want to be around when you become an adult human-fiend-whatever and I don’t want to have to deal with ‘mopey fiend’. Demi-fiend is more than sufficient.” She then winked at me, which got me chuckling quite a bit.

“What? I mean it! Don’t discard my precious flirting. You know how many demons I got you with them.” She then huffed angrily, which got me laughing even louder.

“You’re right, Mab!” I said in between laughs before recomposing myself. “You’re right... I can’t mope around forever. The creation is rapidly approaching and I need to be ready for it.” I say, smiling and looking at those demons. The name is not fitting at all, since they were with me from the very beginning. They were the ones who helped me get where I am. They believe in my cause and fought for me. They still do, even now.

“Okay. Let’s find someone to lighten up those temples. Bumbling in the dark is not an option.” I issue the commands to the group. They listen with a surprising amount of gusto. “Let’s fix this round dumpster and pop that fucking sun out.”

“Ay ay, sir” Mab gleefully accepts, positioning herself not far behind me, Sati maintaining some distance and Loa floating content with himself.

We march towards the underground tunnels looking for a light emitting demon. We’d then prepare ourselves for whatever was inside those temples, because things are getting tough and the demons even tougher. We’d need all preparation, power and luck on our side. But’ we’d manage. If not by the power of Magatama or ludicrous amounts of luck, by the power of what I believe in.   
  
I saved the manikins, I stopped the nightmare system and I’m toppling great forces with the help of my allies.

I do not know what the Creation has in store for any of us, but I’ll do my best to make sure that whatever comes next is the best for us all.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is an allusion to how it happens AFTER the conception, but BEFORE the birth of the new world, as those are the events that happen in SMT Nocturne.
> 
> (Also, this is EXACTLY where I am at the game, so no spoilers beyond this point would be very much appreciated)


End file.
